in spite of all the dreaming

Anaphora

Each day with so much ceremony
begins, with birds, with bells,
with whistles from a factory;
such white-gold skies our eyes
first open on, such brilliant walls
that for a moment we wonder
"Where is the music coming from, the energy?
The day was meant for what ineffable creature
we must have missed?" Oh promptly he
appears and takes his earthly nature
instantly, instantly falls
victim of long intrigue,
assuming memory and mortal
mortal fatigue.

More slowly falling into sight
and showering into stippled faces,
darkening, condensing all his light;
in spite of all the dreaming
squandered upon him with that look,
suffers our uses and abuses,
sinks through the drift of bodies,
sinks through the drift of vlasses
to evening to the beggar in the park
who, weary, without lamp or book
prepares stupendous studies:
the fiery event
of every day in endless
endless assent.

Elizabeth Bishop

because i could not find sleep

because i could not find sleep
after talking to you, a glancing of
words that might be thought conversation

i rose to make tea eggs
in the silence
of the southern night

and it made me think of a hike we took
that summer day, the time we walked up
that mountain ridge,

warmed by the sun

my skin remembers how its surface
was cooled when we descended into
the path along the creek,

breathing in
the changed smell of the air
as we passed among redwoods that thrived

in that most unlikely place
we entered a valley of coolness
surrounded by golden,

baked hills strewn with oaks

we could not have known
then as we know now
that we had found

the nature of our path but as yet unaware

(2003)

strange nights

last night's dream was so strange.

it started in a room or place where i was manipulating a machine that looked like a asymmetrical monitor that had a lever on the right side. it looked like the style of design from the 50's and 60's, kind of retro.

i was looking at the screen as if i was driving some kind of vehicle remotely. then the dream changed and i was in the actual vehicle as if transported. i follow through this maze of corridors and tunnels and navigated through streets. one street name was larch. i don't remember the other streets now.

i woke up and went back the same dream a number of times. i was in a studio or apartment staying four young women. i didn't recognize any of them but it was odd because they were all asian. the apartment was elegant but did have any walls between personal areas. the separate rooms for individual closets and bathrooms. i had the sense we were all getting dressed and going out for the night. it seemed like it was supposed to be los angeles except it was too pretty. there was gorgeous architecture and there was too much neon and clean. perhaps tokyo? we were going out for sushi and the food was exquisite. tasty and beautiful.

because one of the women could not flag a cab, we had to take the same kind of tube but there were not cars. we just flew down the tubes at breakneck speed. i didn't know the way so i had to keep up with the women. i remember on the way back from the restaurant i took a different route slightly cause one of the women said it was other way and it was because we didn't have to navigate down a deep narrow chute.

i woke slightly and went back into the dream and returned to the apartment but once inside it had changed into a house on a river. there were some friends and family there. the house layout sort of reminded a house i lived in when i was 8-10 years old. i was in a back bedroom and there was a stray cat that came in the house. no pets are allowed so i chased the cat. when i picked it up it was an animate thing but made of burlap and as i gripped it little black things the size of watermelon seeds started to leak out everywhere over the carpet. i was in a panic because i put the cat out and it got back in again.