Thursday, June 02, 2005
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
trained behavior
early morning tv news.
the guys are sitting there barely awake yet transfixed to the tv and all its shallow and irrelevant stories such as the "finger in the chili at wendy's woman's court case." believe it or not, some people try very hard to turn such a subject into socio-philosophical discussion.
the next story that comes on is one about pit bull owners and the usual controversies surrounding them. pedro gives a sigh. someone else says, "they are just dogs. it is all dependent on how they are trained when they are young." another disagrees citing some horror story. i glance at the faces and stand up as i slip the ibook into its sleeve and prepare to leave the room, "they ARE trainable, of course you can train them. they are dogs. if you guys can be trained to wake up and lose yourself into the banality of the local morning news every single day then i can sure as hell train a pit bull to behave any way i'd like it to."
faces momentarily glance at me, trying to absorb what i just stated. there are no voices behind me except for the meteorologist saying that there is a good chance of rain today. i look through the kitchen and out the back door. there is a drizzle coming down. duh!
the guys are sitting there barely awake yet transfixed to the tv and all its shallow and irrelevant stories such as the "finger in the chili at wendy's woman's court case." believe it or not, some people try very hard to turn such a subject into socio-philosophical discussion.
the next story that comes on is one about pit bull owners and the usual controversies surrounding them. pedro gives a sigh. someone else says, "they are just dogs. it is all dependent on how they are trained when they are young." another disagrees citing some horror story. i glance at the faces and stand up as i slip the ibook into its sleeve and prepare to leave the room, "they ARE trainable, of course you can train them. they are dogs. if you guys can be trained to wake up and lose yourself into the banality of the local morning news every single day then i can sure as hell train a pit bull to behave any way i'd like it to."
faces momentarily glance at me, trying to absorb what i just stated. there are no voices behind me except for the meteorologist saying that there is a good chance of rain today. i look through the kitchen and out the back door. there is a drizzle coming down. duh!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Monday, May 16, 2005
CowboySon
Dan assured me this would look cool, especially with the folded Buddhist prayer amulet...yeah, right!
C sans Prada
over several cups of tea, a couple of miles worth of strolling, a vegetarian lunch (it's dan's fault), a fantastic crèpe dessert at ti couz, a handful of funky store browsing in the mission district and hayes valley, dan and i have tested the hypothesis and proven that his friend L is indeed "C sans Prada." L kind of looks like C, speaks just like C, her voice sounds like C and is hip like C sans Prada!
dan and i have known C for a long time and we love her dearly but we have come to accept that it is difficult to hang out with her because over the years we have missed out on our "high maintenaince continuance" seminars and are no longer properly certified to be get C's time in any significant alotment. but we have rejoiced since we have found L. this is not to say that we don't want to hang with C or that L is a "replacement" of any sort, such an assessment would be unfair to both. it was simply serendipitous that dan met L. and in this fact, we hope to have many new found moments of laughter in good company together.
having said this, i have to admit that we were in a shoe store on hayes and i picked up a really cool pair of black shoes and showed it to dan. his eyes said, "cool!" i flipped over the shoe to see the price: $348. we frowned, i looked at the heel and saw the logo...in those unmistakably distinctive trapezoidal slab serif letters: PRADA.
dan and i have known C for a long time and we love her dearly but we have come to accept that it is difficult to hang out with her because over the years we have missed out on our "high maintenaince continuance" seminars and are no longer properly certified to be get C's time in any significant alotment. but we have rejoiced since we have found L. this is not to say that we don't want to hang with C or that L is a "replacement" of any sort, such an assessment would be unfair to both. it was simply serendipitous that dan met L. and in this fact, we hope to have many new found moments of laughter in good company together.
having said this, i have to admit that we were in a shoe store on hayes and i picked up a really cool pair of black shoes and showed it to dan. his eyes said, "cool!" i flipped over the shoe to see the price: $348. we frowned, i looked at the heel and saw the logo...in those unmistakably distinctive trapezoidal slab serif letters: PRADA.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
chloe as a nautilus
cats have a better evolved way of dealing with everyday life no matter how insignificant or mind blowing a situation can be they *know* how to deal...
Friday, April 29, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
checking email at the mortuary
scene: 21:47h. i walk into the room and see dennis sacked out on the floor wearing sunglasses (the room is brightly lit) with headphones on. there is audio leakage of jimi hendrix manipulating metal strings to the tune of villanova junction. he cocks his head forward, lifts his shades up and squints at me.
dennis: there you are, where have you been?
me: oh, at the mortuary – checking email.
dennis: you've been *what???*
me: [as a matter of factly] i was checking email...at the mortuary...seeing if there were any messages!
he lies his head back down for a slice of a moment then perks up, stares at me then bursts out laughing with as much hysteria as someone lying down could. his belly pad shivers and the image of a white trash, irish-american, red-haired, musctached lucky boddhisatva comes to mind.
dennis: hah, it didn't really strike me until the second time you said it! only *you* would give me an answer like that.
i should have known it. i've seen you do it. i remember that day!
[there was one evening dennis had ridden up on his bicycle and practically fell over on the bike when he stopped. he was carrying a full bag of laundry, a backpack and the wind was gusting a good 20 mph. he said he had to tack to make it upwind and thought he would have to walk the last stretch. after catching his breath he said, "son, you are the only person i know who would non-chalantly sit there on a bench in front of a mortuary smoking a cigarette and checking email as if you were at a café or something!"]
me: heh, you aren't surprised at my behavior are you?
dennis: hah!!! hell no, you just made my fucking day dude!!!
me: always at your service, my friend...
dennis: god, the fuckin french assasin stikes again... [he puts his shades back on with a smile]
dennis: there you are, where have you been?
me: oh, at the mortuary – checking email.
dennis: you've been *what???*
me: [as a matter of factly] i was checking email...at the mortuary...seeing if there were any messages!
he lies his head back down for a slice of a moment then perks up, stares at me then bursts out laughing with as much hysteria as someone lying down could. his belly pad shivers and the image of a white trash, irish-american, red-haired, musctached lucky boddhisatva comes to mind.
dennis: hah, it didn't really strike me until the second time you said it! only *you* would give me an answer like that.
i should have known it. i've seen you do it. i remember that day!
[there was one evening dennis had ridden up on his bicycle and practically fell over on the bike when he stopped. he was carrying a full bag of laundry, a backpack and the wind was gusting a good 20 mph. he said he had to tack to make it upwind and thought he would have to walk the last stretch. after catching his breath he said, "son, you are the only person i know who would non-chalantly sit there on a bench in front of a mortuary smoking a cigarette and checking email as if you were at a café or something!"]
me: heh, you aren't surprised at my behavior are you?
dennis: hah!!! hell no, you just made my fucking day dude!!!
me: always at your service, my friend...
dennis: god, the fuckin french assasin stikes again... [he puts his shades back on with a smile]
Monday, April 18, 2005
sleeping in bookstore
i had a dream that i was sleeping in a bookstore last night. it was as if the bookstore was my apartment or home or something. my bed was right up against a bookcase as if the bookcase was a nightstand or some other piece of normal bedroom furniture. in this place, i lived with a couple of others but i don't remember who they were. it was cold and snowing outside. there was a fireplace inside i think, it was warm and cozy.
it has taken a long time for my obsession with books to get in dreams.=)
it has taken a long time for my obsession with books to get in dreams.=)
Saturday, April 16, 2005
passivus idiota
i have a new term.
passive idiocy: this behavior is occurs when someone is upset at you because you have kindly and politely put them in their place and tries to exert empty authority and agression upon you at a later time and fails horribly because they are too timid to make even a passing comment in your presence and you find out about their meek attempt of self consolation as they make those comments they should have said to you to someone else and a fourth party inadvertently hears it and reports it back to you. (yeah it's kind of circuituous, i'll have to make a diagram of it. pictures tell a thousand words. and bad karma is a bitch).
species likely to be found exhibiting this behavior: homo insapiens insapiens rolandus crackus moribundus.
passive idiocy: this behavior is occurs when someone is upset at you because you have kindly and politely put them in their place and tries to exert empty authority and agression upon you at a later time and fails horribly because they are too timid to make even a passing comment in your presence and you find out about their meek attempt of self consolation as they make those comments they should have said to you to someone else and a fourth party inadvertently hears it and reports it back to you. (yeah it's kind of circuituous, i'll have to make a diagram of it. pictures tell a thousand words. and bad karma is a bitch).
species likely to be found exhibiting this behavior: homo insapiens insapiens rolandus crackus moribundus.
Friday, April 15, 2005
36 hours to texas
that was what rob's bus ticket said. san jose, ca to dallas, tx by greyhound bus. that in itselft is enough or should be enough material for a short film. the first stop was in coalinga, ca. he asked me where that was. i said, don't worry you'll smell it before you see it. imagine a thousand head of harris ranch cattle waiting for slaughter and small hills of manure that is managed by caterpillar earth moving vehicles. on a warm day, the rich musty smell of manure can whaft a couple of miles with the wind and even in a sealed air conditioned vehicle you can't escape it. i thought, well it will get him reacclimated to texas. there's a hellalotta cattle there.
i can only imagine the interesting characters that might sitting next to him. the snippets of conversation, the junk snack food, the funky little diner in el paso. heh, everything is potential material in my eyes! i'm in the wrong business.
i can only imagine the interesting characters that might sitting next to him. the snippets of conversation, the junk snack food, the funky little diner in el paso. heh, everything is potential material in my eyes! i'm in the wrong business.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
silicon valley fashion accessory #37
bluetooth wireless headsets
subject: mid 40's male silicon valley technocrat, medium build, suited
context: having morning coffee and pastries with female co-workers
faux-pas: wearing his motorola bluetooth headset as if it was a new rolex
what he was thinking: "this is cool, i'm going to impress the ladies"
what his co-workers were thinking: "he looks like a dork with that thing on his ear"
subject: mid 40's male silicon valley technocrat, medium build, suited
context: having morning coffee and pastries with female co-workers
faux-pas: wearing his motorola bluetooth headset as if it was a new rolex
what he was thinking: "this is cool, i'm going to impress the ladies"
what his co-workers were thinking: "he looks like a dork with that thing on his ear"
Friday, April 01, 2005
"i was centered"
20:45h sitting out on the back porch with rob and mike watching the trees in the distance
mike: [sitting on the bench, relaxing with a sigh] man, i was centered til i came here tonight.
rob: [chuckles] yeah, me too!
me: heheh, yeah me too!
mike: [another sigh] man, i don't know how you two live with these guys day in, day out. all day long, i'm fine then i come here and it's, it's, awh man... i gotta struggle to keep...
me: [interjecting] hey man, i fight with it everyday...not to let the crack talk get to me. it's why this ipod is so precious. it's my anti-crack talk device!!! hehe
rob: yeah mike, every morning when son and i leave this place we take a couple of minutes to shrug off all the bad noise from all the crack talk and we are generally fine all day. but whenever we start returning to this place, we immerse ourselves in a kind of sick and twisted frame of humor. it is the only way to get by!
mike: [long sigh]
"the largest of storms are announced by a single drop of rain"
mike: [sitting on the bench, relaxing with a sigh] man, i was centered til i came here tonight.
rob: [chuckles] yeah, me too!
me: heheh, yeah me too!
mike: [another sigh] man, i don't know how you two live with these guys day in, day out. all day long, i'm fine then i come here and it's, it's, awh man... i gotta struggle to keep...
me: [interjecting] hey man, i fight with it everyday...not to let the crack talk get to me. it's why this ipod is so precious. it's my anti-crack talk device!!! hehe
rob: yeah mike, every morning when son and i leave this place we take a couple of minutes to shrug off all the bad noise from all the crack talk and we are generally fine all day. but whenever we start returning to this place, we immerse ourselves in a kind of sick and twisted frame of humor. it is the only way to get by!
mike: [long sigh]
"the largest of storms are announced by a single drop of rain"
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
little things
it is a beautiful day in the plain sense of it. clear, cool and a cloudless sky. it is the perfect day for me to have a brain fart. or at least realize i have a brain fart as the bus i'm waiting for arrives and i realized i left my bus pass in the jacket i was wearing yesterday. arghhhh... i was not paying attention so this is payment. what a horrible waste of money. i thought of what the cost of a day pass could have bought:
1. many cups of non-starbucks coffee with free refills;
2. half a steamed soy sauce chicken from the asian deli;
3. three dense chocolate cake orbs crusted with chopped chestnuts;
4. several good espresso con panas (properly made, not with the whipped cream out of an aerosol bottle. ok, so maybe i have too much coffee...);
5. six ciabatta rolls (which would be really good with tapenade about now);
6. a yummy bowl of vietnamese pho;
7. one and a half bar of toblerone white chocolate;
8. a quart of creamy full fat organic yoghurt;
9. a copy of shakespeare's sonnets;
10. oh yes, and i can't forget a pound of baby shiitake mushrooms from the farmer's market
so tomorrow...mental note to myself: don't throw out this month's bus pass when i purchase next month's pass. it is still good for the day. but that is another story...
1. many cups of non-starbucks coffee with free refills;
2. half a steamed soy sauce chicken from the asian deli;
3. three dense chocolate cake orbs crusted with chopped chestnuts;
4. several good espresso con panas (properly made, not with the whipped cream out of an aerosol bottle. ok, so maybe i have too much coffee...);
5. six ciabatta rolls (which would be really good with tapenade about now);
6. a yummy bowl of vietnamese pho;
7. one and a half bar of toblerone white chocolate;
8. a quart of creamy full fat organic yoghurt;
9. a copy of shakespeare's sonnets;
10. oh yes, and i can't forget a pound of baby shiitake mushrooms from the farmer's market
so tomorrow...mental note to myself: don't throw out this month's bus pass when i purchase next month's pass. it is still good for the day. but that is another story...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
i'm sitting in a cafe this morning and this woman walks over to me and says, "hi, do you remember me?"
this usually under any circumstances is awkward.
half a second later the visuals are matched with some place in my brain. oh it's margot! we used to work together at cks. gee, that was like...ten years ago. i was surprised that she would recognize me. it must have been due to the crazy antics i participated in back then when we worked together. yeah, things like roller hockey in the office, skate-by nerf gun shootings, and the occasional obligatory primal rage bouts at 10:04am with her boss bruce when he was having a bad morning.
anyway, it was good to see her. we exchanged contact info and agreed to get together for lunch or something sometimes.
it was a good way to start the day...
this usually under any circumstances is awkward.
half a second later the visuals are matched with some place in my brain. oh it's margot! we used to work together at cks. gee, that was like...ten years ago. i was surprised that she would recognize me. it must have been due to the crazy antics i participated in back then when we worked together. yeah, things like roller hockey in the office, skate-by nerf gun shootings, and the occasional obligatory primal rage bouts at 10:04am with her boss bruce when he was having a bad morning.
anyway, it was good to see her. we exchanged contact info and agreed to get together for lunch or something sometimes.
it was a good way to start the day...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
local morning news
conversation that the local morning news foster among my inmates i mean housemates:
- discussion as to a particular sports jock shouldn't be allowed back in the game.*
- the complexities of lying and denial behavior in the michael jackson trial.
- complaints as to the ambiguity of the weather forecast, 50% chance of rain in the morning and possibly in the afternoon as well brings forth the comment "well, what the fuck does that mean? is it going to rain or not? what kind of a weather forecast is that?" [old asian slogan: "man who believe weather forecast voted for bush"]
- "you know it man, you know it man, right?" [yes, i know it is a waste of hot green tea if i throw it in your face before taking a sip. my blood caffeine and polyphenol level is less than .10% stay out of my body schema.]
*i say sports jock as supposed to "athlete." the dictionary defines "athlete" as "A person possessing the natural or acquired traits, such as strength, agility, and endurance, that are necessary for physical exercise or sports, especially those performed in competitive contexts." a sports jock is someone who participates in spectator based activities who drives overly large american made s.u.v.'s and is an unwitting object and platform for advertisement all the while believing that he is being paid large sums of money for his ability to: a) hurl his bacon and barley malt induced abdomen at anything in front of him b) drop his super sized burger created gluteus maximus to the ground while sliding to second base c) flaunt badly designed tattoos on the inside of his biceps thereby exposing his underarm and discouraging any opponent to come within proximity of his olfactory schema and preventing the basketball from being stolen from his possession.
part two soon to be published....
- discussion as to a particular sports jock shouldn't be allowed back in the game.*
- the complexities of lying and denial behavior in the michael jackson trial.
- complaints as to the ambiguity of the weather forecast, 50% chance of rain in the morning and possibly in the afternoon as well brings forth the comment "well, what the fuck does that mean? is it going to rain or not? what kind of a weather forecast is that?" [old asian slogan: "man who believe weather forecast voted for bush"]
- "you know it man, you know it man, right?" [yes, i know it is a waste of hot green tea if i throw it in your face before taking a sip. my blood caffeine and polyphenol level is less than .10% stay out of my body schema.]
*i say sports jock as supposed to "athlete." the dictionary defines "athlete" as "A person possessing the natural or acquired traits, such as strength, agility, and endurance, that are necessary for physical exercise or sports, especially those performed in competitive contexts." a sports jock is someone who participates in spectator based activities who drives overly large american made s.u.v.'s and is an unwitting object and platform for advertisement all the while believing that he is being paid large sums of money for his ability to: a) hurl his bacon and barley malt induced abdomen at anything in front of him b) drop his super sized burger created gluteus maximus to the ground while sliding to second base c) flaunt badly designed tattoos on the inside of his biceps thereby exposing his underarm and discouraging any opponent to come within proximity of his olfactory schema and preventing the basketball from being stolen from his possession.
part two soon to be published....
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